|"Don't let your insecurities ruin the beauty that you were born with."|
Sometime during my teenage years my father was making enough money to get me to an orthodontist, where we spent numerous years making 45 minute trips each way at minimum once a month to try and give me the beautiful smile I was never born with. Almost $10,000, braces, rubber bands, a partial and bite plates later my teeth looked pretty freaking fantastic! Until someone stole my bite plates which allowed my teeth to migrate out of position again. And then my wisdom teeth decided to grace me with their presence by the age of 18. Unsurprisingly they thought it would be comical to grow sideways, 2 impacted in my jaw bone, while the other 2 headed towards my molars. 12 years later and they are still in mouth. Thankfully they've stopped growing and my jaw slightly dislocated to accommodate their unruliness at this point. They don't really bother me too much these days because I've adjusted to the discomfort and pain.
The last time I saw a dentist was about 12 years ago when I had my wisdom teeth checked out. I also had an estimate done at the same time to figure out costs for the cosmetic surgery I needed on my teeth. As well as repairing some cavities I got on my molars from the brackets on my braces. I walked out that day knowing I couldn't afford to have my wisdom teeth removed or to have any of the dental work done I needed. So I gave up. It's been 12 years since I've seen any kind of dentist. I'm of course hygienic, I brush twice a day minimum and I floss every now and then (Let's be honest, not many people actually floss daily). I was so frustrated with my teeth and embarrassed by my smile I just couldn't be bothered to care anymore. Now I'm ready to accept my dental misfortune as a part of who I really am - Flawed and real.
I spent my entire life hiding my smile, covering my mouth with my hand, constantly feeling self-conscious and trying to pay attention when I was laughing to make sure people didn't see my teeth. I hid my teeth so well that most people in my life never noticed how bad they really were. Even my 3 1/2 year old daughter never noticed I was missing teeth until she saw the pictures I took of them. She said "Mommy, what happened to your teeth? You're missing teeth!" That's sad to me, that I have put so much effort into pulling my smile back and laugh in that I have never just full out enjoyed the moment. I am so tired of being restrained by my insecurities. It's time to smile!
When I began this blog I began a journey to find and recreate myself. The first blog I ever posted was entitled "Naked" - http://findingmemission.blogspot.ca/2012/12/naked-me.html - I posted a photo of myself without my hair brushed, with no makeup, no airbrushing or editing the wrinkles, bags and black circles under my eyes. I also posted a photo of my belly in all it's stretch mark glory. The point of the blog was to reveal the real me, the unedited version inside and out.
I'm about to do something I have never done before, share a photo of myself smiling that shows my teeth.
Without further ado I present - My real smile!
|"It's not the teeth that make a smile beautiful, it's the person behind it."|